It's been a while since i posted. it just happens sometimes i guess. So take this post with a grain of salt - and maybe re-read things a few times - cause there's a lot stuck in my head from the past few weeks.
Well, there's been a lot going on at work, in my heart, in my head... God has been working in my life and in the lives around me.
One of the biggest things is that my newest friendship is quickly becoming a very deep and very meaningful big sister. Once again the Lord has placed someone right where i need them the most - and someone that just naturally pushed me to grow and open my heart more to them - and to the Lord. The last few weeks have been full of conversations about me pulling away, covenant community, and a culmination of her saying "i'm taking you into my family wether you like it or not" and me knowing that she meant it. It's been a fun couple days talking about the covenant relationship that God had with israel, and that he still has with us. The fact that his own son was taken into an earthly family through adoption and that he was put into a family line or broken messed up people. Flushing out what it means to be a "family" and musing over how complicated and un-loving we've made christianity in america. And a few days of finding that i actually like reading the bible (the message translation) for the first time ever - that it's stirring my heart in new ways in the very opening lines of the old and new testament.
Today we talked about families - and how Christ was adopted into the line of david - and how his "family" wasn't his nuclear/biological family. My friend expressed how beautiful it was that we're adopted into God's covenant just as Christ was - that if we look at it biblically "family" is anything BUT a nuclear family complete with mom, dad, and 2.5 kids. She talked about how comforting that is - and how beautiful it is to think that people without loving nuclear families shouldn't fret because they have so much more...
... but my heart broke as she spoke those words. as much as i wanted to believe it - and as much as i've experienced bits and pieces of that truth as i've walked through life - it doesn't really penetrate to the deepest parts of my heart. No matter how much a family tries to step in and take me as one of them - there's always a separation of how people treat their biological family and their adopted family. I'm not talking about when parents adopt children - i'm talking foster kids, abandoned, abused, and orphaned kids. There are so many preconceived notions about things that could happen in those relationships. That the kids are broken, and have poor boundaries, and that they're more likely to be taken advantage of.... there are huge walls that are put up in between the hearts of the children and the people who attempt to love them.
but it doesn't have to be that way. right? how can we step out of the box that american culture has put us in. To think of family, true family, as more than just our parents and siblings, and to love the abused, orphaned, and abandoned as our own. What would it take to open our hearts enough to the broken people that they'll feel loved - without a doubt - and they'll be able to learn to trust. To show them what love and grace and family really means?