that time again!

So, life popped back up again - with all it's emotions and awesomeness and pain and fun and worry and well, you get the picture. So, i met with my "kids ministry team" last night... 3 out of the 4 girls that i picked to help me out showed up and i shared vision with them about what i want our ministry to look like, what i'm expecting from them, and what all we needed to work on. It was amazing! Then i went to the young adult bible study small group thingy that our youth pastor is leading (which is always really awkward and not all that cool) but i noticed that because i had just been planning ministry and sharing vision and doing all those things that my heart longs for and has been too afraid to do - i was in a totally different mood during bible study. i talked, i shared, i thought through stuff, i actually learned something  - which in past weeks i've have had a bad attitude about and so i havn't learned anything at small group. It was fun. 

then last night as i slept i had a whole littany of dreams that tore me down, made me feel like a loser and that i couldn't do my job and that i wont be able to pull anything off and you know - blah blah blah satan's lies... yeah, that happened. 

So, i got to work at was messing around and realized that i should blog - cause i havn't done that in a long time and missed getting things out and being real and knowing that i'm somehow still sharing life with my friends. so here it is. 

i'm in ministry - it's growing and people are getting excited - and i'm freaked out and a little bit scared all at the same time!